(THE FIRST) Royal Rumble

Royal Rumble 1988
Copps Coliseum (Hamilton Ontario Canada)
Original Airdate: January 24, 1988

Annnnnnnd after an even more lengthy absence than usual, we're back. I'll skip the explanation for the layoff this time and just jump right into it.

First off, technically this event was broadcast on the USA network and should be disqualified from the blog. However, as any WWF fan knows, it became a pay per view the next year and has been ever since. It's also my personal favorite PPV of every year and an intense fan favorite all across the board.

Let's take a step back and explain the concept of the Royal Rumble for a second. As I talked about in the Survivor Series entry, this was a period where the company was striving for different ways to present their roster of wrestlers. For the Royal Rumble (supposedly conceived by WWE Hall Of Famer and close Vince Mcmahon confidant Pat Patterson) was a battle royal with a bit of a twist.

Hold on...let's back it up even a step FURTHER for any novices reading. A battle royal is a match featuring a large number of wrestlers (usually around 20 or so). They all start in the ring at once. There are no pinfalls. The only way to get eliminated is to go over the top rope and touch the floor. There is a chaotic element to battle royals that I (and I think lots of other fans) have always found appealing. The funny is though, up until the conception of the Royal Rumble, it seems like battle royals were mostly used as a way to get anyone who wasn't used in live events a match.

In the Royal Rumble, however, only 2 of the 20 men (which was changed to 30 the very next year)started out in the ring. Every two minutes a supposedly random new wrestler came out. It was an instant hit.

It's sort of interesting to explore why this concept worked so well. For me, I think the pace is one of the Rumble's biggest draws. In a regular battle royal, you start out with a huge number of guys, and they throw fake punches at each other until its their turn to get thrown out. I've actually read plenty of wrestlers say a battle royal is a tremendously easy, low stress match to work because it doesn't require a ton of advance planning or (for lack of a better word)choreography. What the Royal Rumble adds (and what I believe is a big part of its' appeal) is the element of spontaneity. It was cool right from the get go to guess who was going to come out and join the fray next, and it remains cool to this day. It's also fun to see the ring have anywhere from 2 to 12 guys in it depending on the moment. In short, it's such a fast, quickly evolving match, that it's pretty much impossible to get bored with.

Like most shows from this time period, however, the first Royal Rumble was still just a prototype of what it would eventually become. For starters, there was nothing at stake. Several years later, the winner of the Rumble would begin to earn the right to challenge the WWF champion at Wrestlemania. I'm not sure who gets credit for this idea, but it was genius. It took an already popular event and added a whole new level of intrigue.

Here, however, it was just another match. In fact, it didn't even happen last on the card. It was the last undercard match before the barnburning main event of the Young Stallions vs The Islanders in a 2 out of 3 falls match. I think I trashed the Young Stallions a bit in a previous blog, but in case I didn't, let me do it again. The Young Stallions sucked. Plain and simple. I try to write this blog in a mostly academic fashion, but I hated The Young Stallions on such a base level, that it is easier for me just to be blunt in this case.

It's probably not shocking that the card is a little weak though, since Pay Per View was burgeoning at this point, and the company probably thought it would be silly to give away instead of sell the really good stuff. Besides the Rumble though, there is a gem of a match to lead off the show between Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (who was by now nearing the end of his first WWF run) and a relative newcomer named "Ravishing" Rick Rude. Rude was a native of Minnesota with a lean, muscular frame and one of the better gimmicks of the late 80's. He essentially portrayed an egotistical ladies man who made a big show before every match of taking off his robe and posing "for all the ladies". He was also quietly one of the absolute best workers of this era. Unfortunately, he has since become one of many wrestlers to die far far too young. Here he is shown at his best though, doing a solid 15 minutes with a game Steamboat, until a stupid, overly complicated finish almost ruins what came before it. Still a solid match though.

So much like the first Wrestlemania, this event is extremely historically significant to WWF in a historical context. In terms of the actual quality of the matches thought? There is still a lot to be desired. But it's coming.

Card:
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def. "Ravishing" Rick Rude by disqualification
The Jumping Bomb Angels (Noriyo Tateno and Itsuki Yamazaki) def. The Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Leilani Kai) (with Jimmy Hart) in a two out of three falls match for the WWF women's Tag Team Championship
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan won the Royal Rumble match (other participants: Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Tito Santana, "The Natural" Butch Reed, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, "King" Harley Race, "Jumpin" Jim Brunzell, Sam Houston, "Dangerous" Danny Davis, Boris Zhukov, Don Muraco, Nikolai Volkoff, "The Outlaw" Ron Bass, B. Brian Blair, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, The Ultimate Warrior, The One Man Gang and The Junkyard Dog)
The Islanders (Haku and Tama) defeated The Young Stallions (Paul Roma and Jim Powers) in a two out of three falls match

Next up: Wrestlemania 4 and the beginning of my in depth look at the now legendary yearlong buildup to the Hulk Hogan vs Macho Man match at Wrestlemania 5.

SURVIVER SERIES

Survivor Series
Richfield Coliseum (Richfield, Ohio)
Original Airdate: November 26, 1987

I swear I entered into this with the best intentions. I watched this show quite awhile ago and have been mulling over ideas for my newest blog entry for at least two weeks. Alas, the reality of my life got in the way and a whole month went by yet again. I apparently just have too many other pressing hobbies to write in this blog several times a month....actually that's not true. I just work a job I hate way too much, and on the rare occasions I'm not working, I play in a dumb band, and balance my wrestling habit with my movie habit and my video game habit. Unfortunately some things just end up falling by the wayside. However, I'd like to once again offer my assurance that even if my updates are slow in coming, this blog is by no means dead. It just may be around for many years before I reach the finish line. Come to think of it, I'm actually not even sure where that finish line is. Do I need to watch every PPV up to the present? Or should I set some sort of end date a few years in the past? Either way, I clearly have plenty of time to decide.

So here we have the Survivor Series. This was the first new PPV spun off from the already mega successful Wrestlemania. However, the company came up with a twist to distinguish this new show. There would be no one on one or tag team matches. Everyone would compete in teams of 5, and all matches would be elimination style. Essentially, that means you could be left with any number of lopsided, uneven situations (up to and including 1 on 5). All 5 members of one team had to lose in some manner before the match was over. Whoever was left on the other team was/were declared the survivor(s). (ahh...so it's not just a clever name)

However, like most first time WWF events, I feel the first Survivor Series didn't quite find its footing. The concept was clearly strong, as evidenced by the fact that it is still on the pay per view schedule today (sidenote: WWE actually declared in the beginning of 2010 that they were phasing this event out, but by November, it was back on the schedule. It was never confirmed, but I suspect high fan demand was the reason for this decision).

In 1987, however, I think there was still a "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks" mentality. There were actually only 4 matches on the first Survivor Series card, and two were awful. The 10 woman Survivor Series tag match features some decent talent (mostly the Jumping Bomb Angels from Japan) but it suffers from an absolutely lukewarm crowd reaction, and a couple of clearly middle aged participants who seem to have trouble moving, much less putting on a credible wrestling match. The WWF/E has ALWAYS had trouble drumming up interest in the Woman's Division and this was clearly a low point. Clearly no one cared about anyone involved in this match, and the company took notice because I'm fairly certain the Woman's division was phased out for years not too long after this. (authors note: perhaps the subtle sexism of wrestling audiences would make for a good discussion in a future entry)

The other match that doesn't quite work involves the tag team division. Tag team wrestling was still a big focus of the company at this point (unlike the last few years, but I'll get to that another time), so an idea was hatched to have 5 heel tag teams take on 5 face tag teams in a gigantic supersized elimination match. Thankfully, the rules state that when one member of a team is eliminated, both are out of the match. Otherwise, this one would have gone on for at least an hour. As it is though, it is still way too long (wikipedia says it clocks in at around 37 minutes). And 20 participants is just far too many for a tag team match. It ends up being far too busy and no one really gets any chance to stand out. On top of that, for some reason, the sole Survivors of the match are The Killer Bees and the Young Stallions, two highly forgettable, short lived babyface teams. The Bees were actually better known for their ridiculous yellow and black striped ring attire than anything else. The funny thing is, they were not bad wrestlers. They could work quick and loose. However, with that gimmick, they were doomed to never be taken seriously. The Young Stallions were horrendous though, and it is anyone's guess why they were given the victory over far superior teams like Demolition and The British Bulldogs. Anyhow, this match concept lasted one more year before getting the axe (Demolition pun intended) so clearly someone on the creative team agreed with my assessment.

There was clearly a gem of a good idea here though, and the main event match showed that. The team captains for this tilt were Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant. First off, I like that 6 months after their big showdown at Wrestlemania, they found a way to keep their rivalry going (and it was far from over). One thing I dislike about current WWE is they tend to not take any time to develop quality, believable stories. The Hogan/Andre rivalry is an example of how you can have two guys work together for an entire year without the feud becoming stale. Secondly, I liked the fact that Andre's team actually picks up the victory. This is an example of how to use a format like the Survivor Series properly. Vince Mcmahon clearly didn't want Hulk Hogan to seem particularly beatable, but when put in the context of a 10 man match, he avoided having Andre or Hogan look particularly weak. In other words, he moved along the story without giving it any finality. In the early years, that was not what the Survivor Series was about. It was more of a fun one off concept than a serious story builder. And it sure was fun. That's why it's still around today.

Card:
Team Macho Man: Macho Man (w/Miss Elizabeth), Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
def.
Team Honky Tonk Man: The Honky Tonk Man (w/Jimmy Hart), Hercules, "Dangerous" Danny Davis, "The Outlaw" Ron Bass and "King" Harley Race (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan)
Survivors: Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, Ricky Steamboat

The Fabulous Moolah, Rockin' Robin, Velvet McIntyre and the Jumping Bomb Angels (Itsuki Yamazaki and Noriyo Tateno)
def.
Sensational Sherri, The Glamour Girls (Leilani Kai and Judy Martin)(w/Jimmy Hart), Donna Christanello and Dawn Marie
Survivors: Jumping Bomb Angels

Strike Force (Tito Santana and Rick Martel), The Young Stallions (Jim Powers and Paul Roma), The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond), The Killer Bees (Jumpin' Jim Brunzell and B. Brian Blair) and The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid)
def.
The Hart Foundation (Bret "Hitman" Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart)(w/Jimmy Hart), The Islanders (Haku and Tama)(w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan), Demolition (Ax and Smash)(w/Mr. Fuji), The Bolsheviks (Boris Zhukov and Nikolai Volkoff) (w/Slick) and The New Dream Team (Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Dino Bravo)(w/Johnny V)
Survivors: The Young Stallions and The Killer Bees

Team Andre The Giant: Andre The Giant, The One Man Gang, King Kong Bundy, "Ravishing" Rick Rude and "The Natural" Butch Reed (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Slick)
def.
Team Hulk Hogan: Hulk Hogan, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff, "The Rock" Don Muraco, Ken Patera, and Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Oliver Humperdink)
Survivor: Andre The Giant

Next Up: (THE FIRST)Royal Rumble (which actually aired on the USA network, but come on. It's THE ROYAL RUMBLE)

WRESTLEMANIA 3

Wrestlemania 3

Pontiac Silverdome (Pontiac, Michigan)

Original Airdate: March 29, 1987

Well, First off...hi. Happy New Year to everyone. I promised from the get go that I wouldn't always be able to get to this blog/project as frequently as I'd like, and I'd say I've definitely delivered on that promise thus far. Between the holidays, a temporarily deceased PC, and a death in my family, my goofy blog/project has had to take a bit of a backseat. That having been said, this is far from dead, and with the new year, I plan on watching lots of wrestling (some good, some not so good) and imparting to you, my several loyal readers, my hackneyed thoughts on all the tiny details. So, as I rededicate myself to this task I took on for no real reason, let's forge onward.

As I stated previously, the coming years will bring a huge disparity in the quality of product being put forth by WWF. Luckily, we start 2011 on a high note. The third Wrestlemania was, and probably still remains, one of the high water marks in the entire history of the company. At the time, the reported attendance of 93,173 at the Silverdome was the biggest recorded indoor crowd in history. While that number has apparently been disputed a bit in the intervening years, one look at the show reveals that even if they padded the numbers by a few thousand, there was still an utter mass of humanity present for this event.

And most importantly, the main storyline headed into the third mania was full of genuine intrigue. Hulkamania was now in full swing, but the Hulkster was set to face his gravest challenge in the 7 foot 500 lb (pretty clearly exaggerated measurements, but regardless, he was a LARGE man) Andre The Giant. In storyline, Hogan and Andre were formerly close friends, but Andre had allowed evil manager Bobby "The Brain" Heenan to get into his head and turn him angry and bitter. Andre had perfected a persona where he came off as good hearted, but easily swayed by bad influence. This was further reinforced by the part he played in the movie "The Princess Bride", which was released that fall.

Anyway, even casual fans of pro wrestling know what happened. Hogan slayed the giant, and even managed to bodyslam him (Andre clearly worked incredibly hard to help Hogan pull this off, but still). It's tough to argue that this was Andre's biggest shining moment in the ring, and some would say it may have been Hogan's as well. It was the perfect storm of a great buildup, the right venue, and a good match. Now don't get me wrong, in terms of the actual wrestling, this wasn't an all time classic. What makes it a solid, memorable match though, is the workrate. Both guys clearly wanted it to be great, and you can sense them both working hard to make the other look good and put on a great show.

In stark contrast, we have one of the preliminary matches between Macho Man Randy Savage and Ricky The Dragon Steamboat. And I'd like to use that as the jumping off point for the bulk of my discussion regarding this event. I've written a bit about both the Dragon and the Macho Man in previous entries, so I won't rehash. Their encounter at Wrestlemania was for the Intercontinental Championship. I haven't discussed the IC Championship at any length so far, so I'll give some brief background on it now: The IC championship is considered secondary only to the World Title. In non-storyline terms, if a wrestler was given the IC Belt, it was said to be a clear sign the guy was considered to be on the way up. And that has definitely held true over the years. A quick look at former title holders reveal a large percentage of guys going on to hold "the big belt". And the Macho Man was certainly on the way up. In fact, he was on his way to being arguably the 3rd most recognizable face of this whole era; behind Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior.

The significance of the Macho Man/Steamboat match is this: A large portion of hardcore wrestling fans consider it to be one of the best matches of all time. So my question here is this: In the context of the predetermined pro wrestling world, what makes a "great match"? Well, I would think that's at least partly a matter of individual taste. To the trained eye, the first very noticeable thing is that it is extremely planned. During the 15 or so minute duration, the two guys do a lot of things that are extremely acrobatic and elaborate. The match is elaborate to the point where it is easy to ascertain that the two of them sat down ahead of time and worked out the ins and outs pretty meticulously. So if spontaneity is your thing, this might not be your FAVORITE match ever. But it's hard to see any fan of pro wrestling being disappointed at two innovative, athletic guys in their prime clearly giving it their all.

Another somewhat intangible element of a great match is what wrestling nerds call "psychology". Essentially, this is meant to refer to the logic of what each wrestler does in a match. Since each guy is playing a character, everything they should do within a match should fit their character. The catch is that a character's psychology can evolve within any given match. In fact, in a really well done wrestling match, it should. For example: in this one, the referee "accidentally" gets run into (a very popular storytelling device in wrestling). While the ref is out cold, Macho Man hits Steamboat with his finishing move (a flying elbow from the top rope). Macho Man has Steamboat pinned for at least 10 seconds, but GASP...there is no referee available to make the count. To finish the match, Savage is attempting a seemingly mundane move, which Steamboat reverses out of nowhere to get the pin and win the championship. It makes great sense within the context of the match that Savage was thrown off guard by landing his finishing move and not winning, and therefore was distracted enough to allow Steamboat to take advantage.

Anyway, the point is that it's tough to say what makes a "great" match, but the Steamboat/Savage tilt is without a doubt at least a "very good" one. You can judge whether not it is one of the best on your own:

The reaction to Wrestlemania 3 was crystal clear. It was clearly the company's most ambitious undertaking to date, and it came off without a hitch. People wanted more WWF on pay per view, and that is what Vince Mcmahon started providing. He began adding shows pretty rapidly for a couple years. It's going to be interesting attempting to make some sort of dent in them, but I'm up for the task, so I hope you, my several loyal readers, are up for accompanying me. See you soon.

Card:
The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk) def. "Cowboy" Bob Orton and The Magnificent Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji)
Billy Jack Haynes fought Hercules (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) to a double countout
Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver def. King Kong Bundy, Lord Littlebrook and Little Tokyo by disqualification
King Harley Race (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and The Fabulous Moolah) def. The Junkyard Dog in a "Loser Must Bow" match
The Dream Team (Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake)(w/Johnny Valiant and Dino Bravo)def. The Rougeau Brothers (Jacques and Raymond)
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper def. "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) in a "Hair vs Hair" match
The Hart Foundation (Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart) and "Dangerous" Danny Davis (w/Jimmy Hart) def. The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) and Tito Santana
"The Natural" Butch Reed (w/Slick) def. "The Birdman" Koko B. Ware
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (w/George "The Animal" Steele) def. "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) to win the Intercontinental Championship
The Honky Tonk Man (w/Jimmy Hart) def. Jake "The Snake" Roberts (w/Alice Cooper)
The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (w/Slick) def. The Killer Bees ("Jumpin" Jim Brunzell and B. Brian Blair) by disqualification
Hulk Hogan def. Andre The Giant (w/Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) to retain the World Championship

Next up: (THE FIRST) Survivor Series

AN OPEN LETTER TO 2010 HULK HOGAN

Dear Hulkster,

I'd like to start out by saying I have the utmost respect for you. Any serious wrestling fan should. Your influence in shaping what the industry is today can not be overstated. You were absolutely larger than life for a few years and besides maybe The Rock, no one has even come close to what you did in terms of transcending "sports entertainment" and becoming an all around omnipresent pop culture icon. While I always preferred the Ultimate Warrior in my younger years (what can I say? He was colorful and yelled a lot), somewhere in the back of my mind, I always knew that when you told me to train, say my prayers, and eat my vitamins, I should probably take heed.

But gradually, you faded from the spotlight. That's ok. It happens to everyone. While stories of Vince Mcmahon underpaying his guys in the old days are legendary, I have to believe you did ok for yourself. In addition to the huge paydays for headlining basically every pay per view for about 5 years, your likeness graced EVERYTHING. I'm pretty sure we were one wayward marketing pitch away from having Hulk Hogan condoms at some point. So unless you had the worst lawyer on the face of god's green Earth, you had to have come away from those prime years in the WWF at least FAIRLY comfortable. Right? RIGHT?

Well guess what? It didn't matter. A few years after it looked like you were done being relevant, you reinvented yourself. Around 1996, with WCW, you made everyone's jaw drop by becoming a villian for the first time in close to 15 years. And not only did you become a villian, you became the head villian, leading your group, the NWO, to major storyline success in WCW as well as major real life success against the WWF. Fueled by the ratings at least MOSTLY generated by you, the WCW gained a heavy lead in their head to head battle with Vince, and by some accounts, almost won.

Then the inevitable happened again. The NWO ran out of steam and once again, people lost interest. But something different happened this time. There were signs that you were reluctant to take on more of a part time role and let the younger guys shine. Even though you were 47 years old (no spring chicken, especially in wrestling terms) by the time you exited from WCW, you were starting to exhibit lots of signs that you weren't into being a team player. The NWO was often granted exceedingly large portions of the show to stand and the ring and talk endlessly about nothing in particular, often at the expense of some of the younger, up and coming talent (and WCW had a ton at the time. Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit anyone?)

And guess what Hulkster? I don't think this was all your fault. From the moment you got to WCW, I think everyone in charge inflated your head and constantly reminded you of what you did for Vince and the WWF. Then you managed to ONCE AGAIN carry a company to huge success, although for a much briefer period. So at some point, between those two amazing periods of success, it was probably very easy to start believing your own hype and thinking Hulk Hogan was superhuman and incapable of failure.

So what happened after that? I mean, I don't think it would be overly critical or unfair to say that 1996-1997 in WCW was the last gasp of your "glory days". But like the great, true showman you are, you STILL managed to squeeze out a couple more brief stints in the spotlight. For several years, you and your family had a successful reality show. While purists would argue this isn't necessarily a "good" sort of fame, it was a way to stay in the public eye and keep earning, which is clearly what you've strived for most this past decade. So if this accomplished what you wanted, good for you I guess. Even though it ended up casting a bigger public eye on your son's troubles with the law and your messy divorce.

You also made occasional appearances with the WWE again for several years. The biggest was of course your match against The Rock at Wrestlemania in 2002. And guess what? That's awesome. That's a dream match all us wrestling nerds were dying to see. And it didn't matter who won, because you guys were both already superstars. Good for you, Vince, The Rock and whoever else for recognizing the potential for a huge payday with that one and taking advantage of it. But I think most people would agree that probably should have been it for you in terms of high profile matches. You were almost 50 at the time and not exactly in peak physical shape. At this point you couldn't count all your surgeries on two hands, and your knees were already not well in 2002.

So what then? Well I certainly understand the need to continue earning. Especially when you feel your name/brand are still financially viable. But at some point, you'd think it would be time to take a secondary role. You've done a lot in this business and made a lot of money for a lot of people. Because of that, I'm sure there would have to be a decent office/executive job for you SOMEWHERE. And there would always be the option to make occasional appearances. The WWE does plenty with the group of "legends" they have on the payroll. But they don't put the "legends" in the middle of big storylines. They leave that for the younger/healthier guys (author's note: a recent storyline with Chris Jericho and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat is a rare exception. But it turned out Steamboat was still in tremendous shape and could still do almost all of his moves from the 80s. Hogan, on the other hand, can honestly barely walk at this point).

Instead, you gathered every washed up has been and never was wrestler you could get your hands on and staged the "Hulkamania" tour of Australia. The main event every night? You vs 'The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. What's your combined age? 120? Come on man. Let it go. You meant everything to this business . Now instead of bowing out and maybe becoming involved in a lower profile manner, you head to Australia and wrestle a dude in his 60's? Geez man. That's getting awful close to Randy "The Ram" Robinson territory, don't you think?

Which brings us to the present, and the reason I started this letter in the first place. At the beginning of this year, you signed a deal to be one of the bigwigs at TNA (Total Nonstop Action).
TNA is the second biggest wrestling company in the nation. But let's not kid ourselves here Hulk. It's a DISTANT second. There is a weekly television show, but it draws somewhere between 1-2 thousand people in the live crowd, as opposed to Monday Night Raw, which is regularly upwards of 15. There is a pay per view every month, but the buyrates are a fraction of what WWE does for even the lamest show.

So the powers that be decided to bring in the Hulkster, as well as your WCW partner in crime Eric Bischoff to spruce things up. Done right, this could have worked wonders. A veteran presence like Hulk Hogan mentoring some of the amazing young talent in TNA like The Motor City Machine Guns, Samoa Joe and AJ Styles seems like a can't miss proposition, right?

But man...I don't know when the hints of ego you showed in the 90s turned into a full fledged complex, but they sure as hell did. Your first two orders of business when you got to TNA were as follows:

-Ignored the wealth of young and in some cases homegrown talent and gave jobs to ALL your middle aged (and in some cases even older) friends, regardless of their history of drug addiction and unreliability (Scott Hall and Sean Waltman) or the fact that they literally gained about 200 lbs and look like beached whales (The Nasty Boys). Not surprisingly, almost all of these guys have been let go within a year, but that doesn't seem to stop your overarching need to live in the past.

-Secondly, you started taking personal pot shots at Vince Mcmahon and moved TNA Impact from its longtime home on Sundays to go head to head with Monday Night Raw. How long did that last? a month? There's that ego again. You couldn't just have your job and make TNA the best it possibly can. You have an insane thirst to live up to your glory days and be the best, even if you are in a position/with a company that doesn't really have the means to make that a reality.

Cut to this past October. I was watching Bound For Glory, which TNA markets as its big ticket pay per view event, comparable to Wrestlemania (a laughable comparison, but whatever). Your main event could have been a classic. It was a triple threat match between Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, and Mr Anderson. Jeff Hardy, while not a personal favorite of mine, is probably one of the most popular wrestlers of the past 5 years, and can steal the show on any given night. Mr Anderson, in my opinion, can and should be a world champion. He has interview/mic talents that I think rival the best in the business. As a heel, he reminded me a lot of The Rock. He has charisma to spare and can play the guy you "love to hate" absolutely perfectly. And Kurt Angle's talent can not be overstated. He is getting a little long in the tooth himself, but is still tremendously conditioned, and doubtlessly one of the 5 best active American wrestlers.

But instead of letting these three immensely talented atheletes do their thing, the match ended with...ummm...you and Eric Bischoff in the ring for some weird reason. And youultimately....are you ready for this?.....TURNED HEEL. And later you revealed your sinister plan to take over TNA from the inside. Man Hulk...this is sounding awfully familiar. In case you don't see where I'm going with this, let's do a little side by side comparison:

Looks similar no? Just with different supporting players. And that brings me to the overall point of this unexpectedly longwinded letter. It's time to stop, Hulk. I read the episode of Impact after your most recent heel turn did the best ratings in the history of the show. And that's great. But what does that really mean in the long run? I don't have the numbers in front of me, but I'm 99.9999% certain this record setting TNA audience was a fraction of the viewers you were drawing in the heyday of the NWO. And if that's your high water mark, then what now? I'll tell you what now. People are going to grow tired of you rehashing your glory days. I don't think it takes a crystal ball to see that. You're toxic now Hulk. You took what could have been a fun refreshing alternative to WWE and you're in the midst of sinking it with yours and Bischoff's massive egos. Mark my words. A year from now, give or take a few months, people will tire of seeing your old leathery face constantly on TNA tv and they will change the channel.

I'm no shrink, but to me it seems like you feel that if you're out of the public eye for too long, people will forget all the great things you did all those years ago. For me at least, the opposite is true. The more you embarass yourself in 2010, the less seriously I can take all your great moments from years past. Anyway, that was just my 2 cents. I'm sure there's nothing anyone can do to change your mind about the direction you're taking TNA. And that's a shame.

Take Care Brother,
Chuck

THE BIG EVENT

The Big Event
Exhibition Stadium (Toronto, Ontario)
Original Airdate: August 28, 1986

Look...I know it's been awhile. And for that I apologize. I really enjoy writing in this blog, and I don't think I'm going to lose interest anytime soon. So if you have some interest in this, my little pet project, just stay with me. It will move along, albeit at a sometimes slower place.

I also realize this is not technically a pay per view event. I am including it for a couple of reasons. First, I figured since it was a whole year between honest to god pay per views at this point, it might be fun to take a little pit stop. Secondly, I very distinctly remember renting this tape from our local video store at least 5 times as a young kid, so I thought it would be fun to revisit.

It's funny what you look forward to when you're little, isn't it? I remember when my mom would take me and let me rent a wrestling tape. I had 24 hours with that thing, and honest to god, I would watch it at least twice in that 24 hours. Sometimes thrice. Despite how that sounds, I also enjoyed playing outside. (just wanted to clear that up) Anyway, take "The Big Event" for example. On the surface, there is really nothing special about it. I think the announcers claim it set some sort of attendance record (if it did, the record was promptly broken by Wrestlemania 3). Other than that, it's really just a house show that was taped in front of 60some thousand people. (wrestling geek term alert: a "house show" is a live event not taped or shown live on television. generally, the results of house shows have little no bearing on the overall storylines. Because of this, they are often criticized for being boring). There were no title changes. In fact, there was only one title match.

But that didn't matter. Despite the inclusion of such C list mid-80's talent as "Iron" Mike Sharpe (most famous for his onscreen claim to having a wrist injury for something like 5 years) and Ted Arcidi (umm...who?), I remember watching this like it was the biggest pro wrestling card to ever come down the pike. Amazingly enough, my childhood favorite (The Ultimate Warrior, if you're curious. But more on that later) wasn't even involved. (he hadn't yet come to WWF).

What sort of point am I trying to make here? I guess just that its funny how devoted a young kid can be to one thing. And I was nothing if not devoted. I had all the merchandise (at least whatever I could get my mom to buy me) and I honestly spent a lot of time thinking about wrestling (I mean, what was I going to think about instead? school?). When I got to a certain age, I even had a notebook where I wrote down tons of dream matches and cards. I'm not really sure what happened to that notebook, but hopefully it got destroyed. Its existence in 2010 would be fairly embarrassing. Like I said way back in my introduction post, I still watch a ton of wrestling, but it certainly doesn't rule my thoughts, like it once did. But for a few magical years in the late 80s/early 90s, all that mattered to me was whether or not I'd have time to watch King Harley Race vs Pedro Morales once more before the video store closed.

Card:
The Killer Bees (Jumpin' Jim Brunzell and B. Brian Blair) def. The Funk Brothers (Hoss Funk and Jimmy Jack Funk)(w/ Jimmy Hart)
The Magnificent Muruco (w/Mr Fuji) fought King Tonga to a time limit draw
Ted Arcidi def. Tony Garea
The Junkyard Dog def. Adrian Adonis by countout
"The Rebel" Dick Slater def. "Iron" Mike Sharpe
Bobby "The Brian" Heenan, Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy def. Lou Albano and The Machines (Super Machine and Big Machine) (w/Giant Machine) by disqualification
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def. Jake "The Snake" Roberts in a Snake Pit match
Billy Jack Haynes def. Hercules Hernandez
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (Jacques and Raymond) def. The Dream Team (Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake)
King Harley Race def. Pedro Morales
Hulk Hogan def. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) by disqualification

NEXT: WRESTLEMANIA 3

WRESTLEMANIA 2

Wrestlemania 2

Nassau Coliseum (Uniondale, New York)

The Rosemont Horizon (Rosemont, Illinois)

LA Sports Arena (Los Angeles, California)

Original Airdate: April 7, 1986

Year number 2 of the WWF pay per view has begun. (Although, if you want to get technical, Wrestlemania 1 was only on PPV in select markets, so really the Wrestling Classic was the first nationwide PPV). For the second edition of the grandaddy of them all, it is clear Vince Mcmahon was looking for ways to outdo himself. In typical 1980's "more more more" fashion, it was decided that Wrestlemania 2 would be simulcast from 3 different locations spanning the whole country. And I'm not sure if I'm in the minority or not, but I consider this experiment to be a resounding failure. I suppose the powers that be did as well, because to my knowledge, this was the first and only time it was attempted.

I'll be blunt. I think this is one of the absolute weakest Wrestlemanias. I did when I first watched it as a young kid, and revisiting it this week did nothing to change my opinion. The first problem has to do with the format. The jumping of locations affords the show no flow whatsoever. And because it was so spread out, they also had to use 3 different announce teams. It would be charitable to say they scrape the bottom of the barrel with these. People like future Minnesota governor and paranoid nutjob Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Mcmahon himself are more than passable, but whose bright idea was it to give late night schlock horror tv host Elvira a microphone? A recurring trend (at least to me) in pro wrestling is the better the announcing, the more enjoyable the match, and I think this is really the first pay per view I watched where that rings true. I just wanted Elvira, Cathy Lee Crosby (WHO?) and a couple others to shut up (so much so that it took me out of the in ring action).

And there's not even a ton to be enthralled with in the ring, either. This show continues early WWF tradition of having way too many matches, to the point where no one is able to tell a good story in the ring. The opening match from Long Island between Paul Orndorff and Magnificent Muraco lasts less than 5 minutes and ends with a bizarre double countout. Nowadays, it is standard practice for a PPV to start with a high energy match that might go 15 minutes or something to really get the crowd involved. The Orndorff/Murcao match induced nothing in me besides a shrug and a slight yawn. The same goes for several of the other 11 bouts including a flag match between Corporal Kirchner (a second rate Sgt. Slaughter) and Nikolai Volkoff and a blinkandyoullmissit woman's match featuring the Fabulous Moolah. One of the few bright spots is a battle royal (a match where a whole bunch of guys are in the ring and the only way to lose is to get thrown over the top rope. last man standing wins) featuring some NFL players as well as future megastar Bret "The Hitman" Hart (making his first PPV appearance). I also liked the tag team title match where The British Bulldogs came away with the belts (despite his talent, this would prove to be the Dynamite Kid's only real taste of mainstream success) and the main event between Hulk Hogan and King Kong Bundy in a steel cage. It is an interesting, early prototype of the format that made WWF huge in the coming years, which was the Hulkster overcoming a seemingly impossible challenge, and triumphing in the name of all that is good and right. (this may sound like hyperbole, but Hulk Hogan really was that big at one time)

I also didn't like the fact that no ring entrances were included, as well as very few interviews or backstage segments. I think it served to make an already choppy show due to the different locations even choppier. I'm not sure if this is how the show was presented originally, but if so, it was definitely a misstep, and once again, to my knowledge, it was not one that was ever repeated.

So here we have, what was, for the most part, a step backwards, for Wrestlemania. But fear not, loyal readers (all 3 of you), we are about to enter an absolute prime period for WWF, where they began firing on all cylinders. And to me, this period began with Hulk Hogan and a 500 lb giant from the French Alps meeting face to face in front of 80,000 people. But hold on...we aren't quite there yet. Soon though. I advise you to put on your bright red Hulk Hogan bandanna in preparation.

Card:

(Nassau Coliseum)

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff fought The Magnificent Muraco to a double countout

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Miss Elizabeth) def. George "The Animal" Steele to retain the Intercontinental Championsip

Jake "The Snake" Roberts def. George Wells

Mr. T (w/Joe Frazier and The Haiti Kid) def. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (w/ "Cowboy" Bob Orton and Lou Duva) by disqualification in a boxing match

(Rosemont Horizon)

The Fabulous Moolah def. Velvet McIntyre to retain the Womans Championship

Corporal Kirchner def. Nikolai Volkoff in a flag match

Andre The Giant won a 20 man battle royal, last eliminating Bret "The Hitman" Hart (other participants: Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, B. Brian Blair, "Jumpin" Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino and Willaim "The Refrigerator" Perry)

The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) (w/Ozzy Osbourne and Capt. Lou Albano) def. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine) (w/ Johnny Valiant) to win the Tag Team Championships

(LA Sports Arena)

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def. Hercules Hernandez

Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. Uncle Elmer

Terry and Hoss Funk (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. The Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana

Hulk Hogan def. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) in a steel cage match to retain the World Championship

Next Up: The Big Event

THE WRESTLING CLASSIC

The Wrestling Classic

The Rosemont Horizon (Rosemont, Illinois)

Original airdate: November 7, 1985

"What the hell is this?", you may ask. That is a natural reaction. The "1st Annual" Wrestling Classic (or as I've come to call it, "the 1985 pay per view that time forgot") is oft overlooked, but I plan to leave no stone unturned in pursuit of completing this blog/project so here we are.

Unlike Wrestlemania, The Wrestling Classic was conceptual. Almost all of the matches were part of a 16 man single elimination tournament, the winner of which would receive...well...nothing as far as I can tell. I guess at this point the writers hadn't figured out that to make something like that engaging, there really needs to be something at stake. It's very easy. Give the winner a guaranteed title shot and all of the sudden it's WAY easier to be invested in the outcome of the tournament.

This time, however, the only prize at stake was a Rolls Royce that was supposedly being given away in a sweepstakes, with the winner to be announced at the PPV. I'm fairly certain this was all a work, but if it wasn't, how quick do you think the winner turned around and sold that bad boy? I can't see a random wrestling viewer tooling around his neighborhood in a 200 thousand dollar luxury car. Whether it was real or not, the segment on the show where they announced the winner was agonizing, and clearly the crowd agreed because there were plenty of "boos" and some trash was even thrown at the ring. Wikipedia says that segment was cut due to time constraints in the original PPV broadcast, and it probably should have stayed cut.

Anyway, in terms of the actual product, the slight progress from Wrestlemania toward the heyday of WWF is apparent, but this show is definitely still a crude early version of what would come later. The production values are still very shoddy, with everything being a little too dimly and the ring once again looking super cheap.

The actual wrestling takes a step in the right direction this time, but the concept is too ambituous. All told, there are 15 matches on a 150 minute card. So when you factor in backstage segments and that goofy Rolls Royce giveaway, no one was really given time to tell much of a story in any one match. There are also a lot of strange, anti-climactic endings to some of the matches. In wrestling terms, these are known as "non-finishes", or matches that don't end with a decisive winner.

Probably the most significant aspect of this show is it marked the PPV debut of one of the biggest superstars of the 1980's, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Like Hulk Hogan, Macho Man is a household name, and even here, early on, it's clear there is something different about him. He was very athletic and did moves in the ring that you didn't see much in the WWF at the time (at least not on this card), and he gave a great interview. It was sometimes hard to determine what in the heck he was talking about, but that didn't matter. Macho Man had IT. He was magnetic. He very clearly represented the new wave of wrestlers that would propel the WWF to the next level.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have Macho Man's opponent in the first round of the tournament; "The Polish Hammer" Ivan Putski. This match, even though it was short, was to me a telling representation of what was going on within the company at that time. Putski clearly represented the old guard. He had a stocky, bodybuilder's frame, wore simple red trunks to the ring, and sported a slicked back 50's style hairdo surely held back by at least half a container of Brill cream. Macho Man was his complete antithesis. He wore loud sequined outfits with bright colors, and jumped around the ring with ease, as opposed to Putski's Greco Roman inspired mat based moves. And just like what would ultimately happen in the business, the old guard was disposed with ease in about 3 minutes.

Another notable performer making his first PPV appearance here is a guy named The Dynamite Kid. Casual wrestling fans wouldn't know the Dynamite Kid, but fans of the industry regard him as one of the greatest, most influential in ring performers in history. Unfortunately for Dynamite, he was incredibly self destructive and is apparently now destitute and confined to a wheelchair. Chris Benoit, who was also regarded as an incredible performer before going down an extremely dark path of his own, cited Dynamite as his biggest influence in the ring. Here though, Dynamite was in fine form, even though he was pretty clearly already abusing steroids. The finish of his semi-final match with Savage is original and interesting and surely the best of the whole show.

For anyone interested, the tournament was won by the Junkyard Dog. JYD was immensely popular for awhile, and honestly, I never understood it. He was a portly, affable seeming guy from the Carolinas somewhere with the voice of an old bullfrog and the word THUMP (his catchphrase) written across the back of his wrestling gear. He could never really do much in the ring (his finishing move was a headbutt), but that didn't stop the fans from cheering pretty loudly for him. (sidenote: JYD was killed in a car crash in 1998. His death was one of the very few untimely passings of a wrestler that wasn't presumed to be died to drug/steroid abuse)

Oh, and in case you were wondering, some guy name Mike from Illinois "won" the "Rolls Royce".

Enjoy your weekend!

Card:

(Tournament first round)

Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) def. Corporal Kirchner

The Dynamite Kid def. Nikolai Volkoff

"Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/ Miss Elizabeth) def. "The Polish Hammer" Ivan Putski

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def. Davey Boy Smith

The Junkyard Dog def. The Iron Sheik

Moondog Spot def. Terry Funk (w/ Jimmy Hart) by countout

Tito Santana def. The Magnificent Muraco (w/ Mr. Fuji)

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff def. "Cowboy" Bob Orton by disqualification

(Tournament quarter finals)

The Dynamite Kid def. Adrian Adonis

"Macho Man" Randy Savage def. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

The Junkyard Dog def. Moondog Spot

Tito Santana and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff fought to a double countout

World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan def. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper by disqualification

(Tournament semi-finals)

"Macho Man" Randy Savage def. The Dynamite Kid

(Tournament finals)

The Junkyard Dog def. "Macho Man" Randy Savage by countout

Next up: Wrestlemania 2